I jokingly say, when people ask me how long I’ve been married, six and a half looooooooong years! My husband and I laugh at my answer all of the time, because we have learned that marriage is work, and after a lot of trial and error situations, we’ve learned that it doesn’t have to be such hard work.
Below are 5 things I have learned from being married for 6 years.
To Choose My Battles Wisely
If you are in this for the long haul (and since you vowed before God that you would be together until death, you probably are), then not every fight is worth having. My husband and I wrote a song about it; Would you like to hear it? Here it go!
That We Are On The Same Team
It is easy to get caught up in focusing on one situation, and hanging onto your negative feelings. Those feelings can make you think that you are against each other, but you’re just fighting to be heard and understood. When you understand that, fights can easily become calm conversations where you work to hear and understand one another, and work toward a solution that satisfies everyone involved.
That Divorce Is Not An Option
Last year, we had the privilege of being the musical entertainment for the inaugural Black And Married With Kids (BMWK) Marriage Cruise. We sat in on a lot of really cool sessions and learned that we have to take divorce off the table officially, and agree to work through EVERYTHING. When you make a personal agreement with each other, you suddenly feel like teammates who’s got each other’s back.
That Change Is Inevitable
Whether it’s physical change, or one or both of you are growing into a different version of your previous selves, change will happen. You must be committed to recognizing changes that occur, and working to accommodating each other, once again. Keep shifting until it fits and makes sense. You wouldn’t give up in the “sickness” or in the “poorer” portions of your vows. Change is included.
That It Will Never Be The Same Way It Was
After two years of dating, plus 6 1/2 years of marriage, it is impossible to experience an unchanging relationship. Sure, the beginning is always exciting and it feels great, but the forever stuff is what you were working toward. You aren’t even the same person that you were back then. How can the relationship be the way it was?
The list could go on and on, but these are some of the most pressing that if a couple really gets them down, they will be perfectly fine in their relationship.
What relationship lessons have you learned, over the years?