Hi Andriea,

Okay so I am having trouble getting out of this negative cycle I’m in. It seems like nothing I do make a difference in my life. I try to say that I want something good, but only bad comes my way. Every guy I’ve dated has done me dirty. My job is okay but it doesn’t pay me enough money. I’m tired of seeing other people do better than me when I want the same things they have. I watched The Secret and I did what it said and I’m still getting the same results. I’m only asking you, because I read your stories about how you used to be in crazy situations, but you got to a point where you don’t do that stuff no more. I mean, you got what you want in life, so I need help to get what I want for my life. Can you help me please?

I'm Stuck In A Negative Cycle

#AskAndriea: I’m Stuck In A Negative Cycle

Dear Sis,

I can imagine what you’re going through. Yes, it is true that I used to be stuck in a cycle or three of my own. I would try something, say that I give up, but I was only really trying to figure out sneak attack at whatever it was so that I could try again.


Being stuck in a cycle only means that you are doing the same things over and over and expecting a different result. You have to try something different. Don’t be defeated by failures and setbacks. Take them as lessons. Actually step back and think about what you did to get the results that you received, tweak the process, and try again.


The only difference between you and someone who is successful is that person kept trying. There is no successful person on this planet who can say that they decided to do something, tried once, and made it big…smooth sailing. In fact, if they do tell you that, call them a liar and run for the hills. Everyone wants to live a good life, but good lives are built intentionally.


If your job doesn’t pay much money, but you enjoy it, maybe you can improve your education or experience to move up in the company. If you can’t go any higher in your company, maybe you should think about a side hustle that could supplement your income. Get creative with your approach to intentionally building the life that you want.


We’ve all been there where we’ve had relationships that turned out terribly, and if we didn’t learn from that situation the first time (I know I didn’t), we end up right back in another very similar relationship with a new face. When you make the decision to do something different, you will. I always say, when someone really gets tired of…being fat, being cheated on, being broke, etc. they will do something about it.


Positive ThinkingI also suggest keeping a gratitude journal. Write down all of the things that you are grateful for. I bet you don’t even realize how many things go right in your everyday life. We tend to harp on the things that are wrong, rather than focus on the things that are right and good. You’ll start to see a positive change occur in your life, when you start showing gratitude for your blessings.


Honestly, that’s all I did. I kept a positive attitude. I took my lumps and tried again. Eventually, things turned around for me. If you are relentless with your determination, you will see the same positive results.


I hope this helps.


From Me To You With Love,




What other advice would you give our sis in need?

If you have a question you want answered or a situation that you need advice on, let me know.


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Andriea Denise

I am aNDriea DEnise, the founder and owner of aNDrieaDEnise.com. Though I can be serious at times, I am actually a goofy chick who loves to write, to sing, and to create! In addition to being passionate about helping people create lives they love living, I am passionate about getting my husband to end his love affair with his PlayStation!

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