I know that I have said this before, but I feel it’s important enough to say again that when you enter into a marriage, you are promising to love the other person through the things that you already know and through the things that you don’t know. At some point, there will be things that you will learn about your spouse that you may have a hard time dealing with, but remember the promise that you made.
I have heard too many wives say, “if he isn’t holding up his end, why should I?” I totally get it. When any situation seems one-sided and unfair, the desire to continue to go the more loving route rapidly decreases. If I’m being totally honest, most people have learned after marriage that their spouse was a cheater, gambler, hoarder, addict, etc. Depending on what kind of person you are, you either will roll up your sleeves and get to work to save your spouse and your marriage, or you will pack up and leave.
I’m not here to judge you or anyone else. I am on the side of marriage though. I believe that there is a reason that people fall in love, and sometimes they lose sight of that reason.
Every parent I know will defend their child to the end of the earth. Regardless of how many times that child disappoints or breaks his parent’s heart, the love never fades. Especially mothers have more patience with their children than they have with the rest of the world. I know as a child, I have received countless 2nd chances with my parents. I see marriage in the same light. If I am one with my husband, that means that anytime he hurts me, I’m hurting myself.
That may seem far fetched to you, but not to me. If I have control over myself, and we are one, I can control how he treats me. This is the part where if you don’t subscribe to the same faith that I have, you won’t get it. Being one with someone is a spiritual situation, which means that anything dealing with marriage should be handled in a spiritual manner.
If you are not a spiritual person, this might all sound crazy to you, but marriage is a spiritual practice. Marriage, I have found, is the one thing that has drawn me closer to God. I have had my own struggles, but I trust God. He has brought me through everything I have faced this far, and I believe that whatever arises in the future, he will take care of that too. Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the Lord delivereth him out of them all (Psalms 34:19).
Before You Call It Quits On Your Marriage
- What made you fall in love with your spouse?
- What things do you like about your spouse?
- Do the good times outweigh the bad in your marriage?
- What is the worst thing you’ve ever done?
- Did you know that God still loves you after that?
- Could you show your spouse mercy and continue to love him/her?
- What if you endured this season of hardship and your marriage grew to be healthy, loving, and lasting?
- Do you have someone to talk to about your struggles who doesn’t judge you or your spouse?
One of the most powerful documentaries I’ve seen is “Still Standing”. It is full of real married couples who have endured financial struggles, infidelity, illness, and more. These couples made the decision to stick it out, and they are closer and stronger as a result. Ultimately, your situation is your own, and so is the decision. I’m just suggesting that you give it another try before calling it quits.
I am aNDriea DEnise, the founder and owner of aNDrieaDEnise.com. Though I can be serious at times, I am actually a goofy chick who loves to write, to sing, and to create! In addition to being passionate about helping people create lives they love living, I am passionate about getting my husband to end his love affair with his PlayStation!