As much as I wanted to change and to be enlightened, I had no idea that would change more than who I am on the inside. Acquiring a wealth of knowledge, and gaining a deeper spiritual understanding is a very lonely road. The number of people who still have a bible-story-based understanding of spirituality and judge me on seeming so liberal now is overwhelming.
Imagine possessing something so amazing, but you can’t share it with anyone else, because you would be perceived as a bad guy. That’s pretty lonely. The more frustrating thing is that even though people are quick to judge and to dismiss an ideology, they will take (and even ask for) the benefits of it. I wish my people were not this way, but such is life. A person can be “lost” and “headed to the lake of fire”, but if the judgmental ones perceives the wrong ones to possess any riches, they will tow the line enough to continue to judge but to get close enough to try to get something from them. SMH
I understand the newly Christian who wants to scream about their enlightenment from the mountain tops and tell everyone who crosses their path about their newness. They must feel alone too. I mean, people run from the witnesses and the overly zealous for Jesus.
It’s almost like being freed from living a fake life, hiding behind a mask, but then being faced with the decision to either hide your true self for fear of being judged, or to boldly be you, knowing that you will be judged, misunderstood, and in some cases pushed away. I, for one, am not going back into hiding. People will have to find a way to understand, or walk away. And I’m okay with that. I can’t live my life based on what others think, and I hope the people who choose to follow me will refuse to do the same.