Many people travel in packs, not always because they want to spend time with one another, but because they would just rather not be alone. The thought of ever saying, “Table for one, please”, may seem completely ridiculous. Some even believe that a person out alone is a loser who has no friends. This mentality is one of the main reasons that many relationships come to be that should never and would never be, had at least one person involved been honest to him/herself about why he/she was entering into the relationship to begin with.
It is of the utmost importance that you learn to be happy with yourself first. I learned this lesson the hard way. Because I was lonely, and because my one bedroom apartment seemed to get emptier at night, I allowed someone to enter my life that I initially had no interest in. That situation turned into a two and half year relationship. Talk about time wasted.
Don’t get me wrong…he wasn’t a bad guy. He just was not the right guy for me. I knew this in the beginning. I’m not sure if he did or not, but I wasn’t being fair to him for allowing it to continue as long as it did. Once I looked up and realized I was 24 years old and hadn’t put a dent in my life goals, I made a decision to be selfish and to go after exactly what I wanted with no stalling.
I would love to tell a great story about how I suddenly loved being single, and how I became a powerful woman as a result of my tunnel vision on my dreams, but it didn’t quite happen that way. As I was chasing my dream, I met the perfect man for me. So, I snagged him, and kept it moving…I mean, I wasn’t going to let him get away. After we were married though, I took some time to be with myself. It is possible to do. He was already settled in and quite sure of who he was, and he allowed me some time to figure me out.
Surprisingly, I learned a lot about myself as an individual. I started by regularly taking myself out for a movie. I had a movie sweater and everything! (Totally inspired by Rachel Green from FRIENDS, my favorite TV show ever, until How I Met Your Mother) but I digress. It led to other single activities, and I grew to enjoy my alone time. I am an introvert afterall. I learned that time alone gave me super energy to be around other people in social settings. Before, I was always around people, and couldn’t understand completely why I loved it one minute and dreaded it the next. That time alone also allowed me to really come into my own and to make better choices for myself, based on the things that I learned.
Whether you are single or currently married, I strongly advise you to spend some time with yourself and get to know who you are. You will definitely thank yourself for it later! When you are happy with yourself, you will have a much better perspective on life and even see others in a different and more positive light.
Do you spend time with yourself often? If not, are you willing to commit to starting?